108 ~ Not Necessarily & Little Momma

By Kay Heitsch

Edith*, a feisty lady, liked to walk around with "L" and me. Edith's husband had died several years before, but she didn't seem to remember that.

One day, as we were walking, Edith asked if I would keep an eye open for her husband's room. I said, "Edith, don't you think if your husband were here, he would be living in your room with you?" Her response caught me off guard when she said, "Not necessarily, we didn't get along that well!"

As "L" and I walked by a table where a few residents were sitting, Howard* called me over. With the sweetest smile on his face, he pointed to Lilly* sitting at the table with him. "Ain't 'Little Momma' cute? Just look at her blue eyes."

Little Momma was a tiny 90+ year-old resident whom several of the male residents seemed to have a crush on.

I agreed that 'Little Momma' was adorable with her blue eyes. I thought that was the end of the matter when Howard noticed something else about 'Little Momma'. After studying her a little longer, Howard announced, "I think those are her own teeth, too."

I'm so thankful God brought humor into my day. I needed it.

* name changed

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

107 ~ A Tender Moment

By Kay Heitsch

A Tender Moment

One thing I learned working in the memory care center was what people remembered and what they forgot.

People living in memory care may not remember their age, what they looked like, when they ate, where their room was, or even who their family members were.

One night, before I was leaving, I was doing my usual hugs in the family room when Ruth* asked if we could all get in a circle and sing a song. Ruth and I gathered everyone around, including those in wheelchairs.

I wheeled Lucy* into the circle. She was now in a lounging-type wheelchair. Lucy had stopped talking as her memory had faded. At first glance, it seemed she was no longer engaged in life.

I asked Ruth what song she wanted to sing. Her request was, Jesus Loves Me. As we were singing, much to my surprise, Lucy started to sing right along.

I can't explain what a tender moment this was. Even though Lucy had forgotten so much, she still remembered this sweet little song, Jesus Loves Me!

* names changed

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

106 ~ How Can You Be

By Kay Heitsch

I remember well the day when Bessy* was wheeled into the dining room and came to the table "L", and I were sitting. Bessy was going to be our new tablemate.

Bessy was given a glass of milk. Immediately, she let everyone know she never drank milk. Bessy looked at me and said, "Do you know where this comes from? I lived on a farm!" I knew right then and there, Bessy was going to be fun.

One day, Bessy's son came to visit. He told her that it was his birthday and he was 70 years old. Bessy looked at him with the "mother look", and then she looked at me. In an exasperated voice, she said, "Don't lie to this woman about your age! How can you be 70 when I'm only 35?"

What's interesting is that, being in a memory care center, many of the people there do not know their age. In fact, they don't even recognize themselves in the mirror. They can be any age they want!

When I would hug people before I left at night, Bessy always told everyone that I was her 'best friend" and her "angel."

It wasn't always easy working in this memory care center, but people like Bessy made the days better and brought a smile to my face. Bessy will always hold a special place in my heart.

Bessy* Not real name.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

105 ~ Do I Smell Gum?

By Kay Heitsch

Working in a memory care center with "L" had many challenges. It was difficult watching the residents that I came to love slowly decline.

As I wrote earlier, I gave "L" gum to chew, and I also chewed gum. Evelyn* enjoyed following us around. Every day she would say, "Do I smell gum?" I'd respond that she did and would then offer her a stick.

As with most of the residents, Evelyn's condition began to decline. Hospice was called. I could hear Evelyn in her room, seeming to be having a difficult time. I parked "L" outside Evelyn's room and walked inside.

As I leaned over Evelyn's bed and touched her, she became very calm. I asked the hospice nurse why. She answered that Evelyn can smell your gum and perfume. She knows it's you.

That night, as I was about to leave for home, I sat "L" on the couch in the family room. Then, I give "L" a hug and all the other residents in the room a hug too.

This day had been an emotional day. As I bent down to give Ruth* a hug, she asked, "Do you mind if I say a prayer?" I, of course, asked her to pray. Her prayer was short and to the point, but just what I needed to hear. "Thank you, Lord, for leading and guiding her here."

Wow, I pray every day that I will be "led" and "guided."

On this challenging day, the Lord was letting me know that this is where He wanted me to be.

* Names Changed

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

104 ~ The Mistake

 By Kay Heitsch

I learned a lot of lessons and met many people working in the memory care center.

"L" and I would walk around, and other residents would invite us into their rooms to show us something.

One day, "Doris" * invited us into her room. Doris had been a science teacher by profession, but she was also a very creative person. All around her room were dolls that she had made. They were the most interesting dolls I'd ever seen; each was very different from the other.

From what I gathered from talking to Doris, she'd taken a class in doll making. One day, while I was in her room, she took one of the dolls out of the case to show me. She said that this was the first doll she had ever made. This doll was very unusual, with fine artistic work. The ceramic skirt was made of delicate ruffles. I was amazed that anyone could do such unique work.

As Doris was holding the doll very carefully, she turned the doll in such a way that I could see a slight break in one of the ruffles on the skirt.

Then she said, "Would you like me to tell you about this?" Of course, I was curious to know what happened.

Doris explained that on the way to class, she bumped the side of the skirt. She said she was devastated and almost didn't go to class at all.

When it came her turn to show the doll to the teacher, she had to point out the break in the skirt. Doris was sure that the doll would be rejected because of it.

Much to her surprise, the teacher told her she was going to ignore this break and grade the doll on the other good qualities it had.

Doris said this remark and attitude from the teacher changed her life. She said she knew if that teacher hadn't forgiven that small mistake, she would never have made the rest of the dolls.

I'll never forget Doris and the lesson she taught me. We can overlook the mistakes people make and focus on the good.

*Name changed

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

103 ~ Will You Stay?

By Kay Heitsch

Things were going well with "L". She seemed to be okay with her new surroundings. "L" enjoyed being wheeled around in her wheelchair. She didn't seem to mind not walking anymore.

I enjoyed doing the Marketing for the company, and I was still being with "L" in the afternoon and evenings.

"L" daughter would stop in almost every day. I liked her a lot, and "L" and I were happy to see her.

One day, "L"'s daughter stopped in and told me she wanted to move to another state with her husband. They had built a new home with a mother-in-law suite, but it was clear that "L" wouldn't be able to live there now.

I was not expecting the next question. "L" daughter wanted to know if I would stay with "L" until she died. "L" was in her 80s, so her daughter thought I would only need to be there for about 6 more months.

Oh my gosh, this one overnight hospital job was turning into something way more than I had expected. However, I agreed to stay until "L" died.

The family wanted me to work exclusively for them and leave the company. It sounded like a better deal for me financially, but I didn't think it was fair to the company.

I really love the people I work for. I talked to them and explained the situation. They gave me permission to leave if I wanted, but I decided to stay. I was given a raise, which helped.

I decided to stop the Marketing job and now spend my time with "L."

I stayed in touch with "L"'s daughter after she moved through emails and phone calls, so she knew what was going on. "L"'s son still came up on Sunday. We enjoyed his company. Sometimes his wife or son would also visit.

"L" did not live for only six months. I was actually with her for 6 years!

A lot happened in those 6 years. I'll share some stories as I go along on this journey.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

102 I'm Not A Nurse You Are Now.

By Kay Heitsch

While "L" was in the hospital, she developed pressure sores on her heels. Every so often, a visiting nurse would come to the memory care center to treat "L"'s heels.

However, "L" was not having it! She insisted that I do the heel care. I kept telling her that I was not a nurse, but she didn't care. She kept saying, "You do it!" So the nurse would instruct me in taking care of "L"'s heels. I told the nurse, "I'm not a nurse." Her response was always, "You are now!"

"L" would have to go to the hospital to have her heels treated, too. At the hospital, they handled her differently, and my job was to keep her distracted. So we sang! I'm not sure if anyone else likes it, but "L" did, and she was distracted long enough for the nurses to treat her heels.

The heels eventually healed, and some boots were provided that "L" had to wear to bed to prevent any more pressure sores.

One thing I never wanted to be is a nurse. However, with God's help, I was able to be a nurse and help this visiting nurse. I know that all things are possible with God!

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2