101 ~ New Marketing Job

By Kay Heitsch

After working for a company for a while, they asked if I would be interested in doing Marketing for the company. I figured doing Marketing would give me a little break from the memory care center.

So, I worked on marketing in the morning, usually 5 days a week, and was still with "L" 7 days in the afternoon and evening.

I worked all these hours because I needed the money, since Brandon was now in college, and all the money I made went to the school.

I had never done marketing, so I decided to try something different: baking Grandma Z. cookies and packaging them in a bag tied with ribbon, complete with my business card. I had brochures with all of the company's information that I left at each location.

I went to nursing homes, hospitals, churches, and doctors' offices. apartments and condos, etc. I returned to some locations, and they were always happy to see me. They also enjoyed the cookies

One day, I was walking around passing out the brochures at some condos when a man opened the door. I told him why I was there and gave him a brochure.

Out of the blue, he said, "I don't want you to think I'm coming on to you, but are those your real teeth?" I cracked up and told him, "Yes, they were." I use Dr. George's Dental White on my teeth, and he said he had never seen anyone with teeth so white.

I enjoyed Marketing and met a lot of people. It was something I had never done before, and it was a great experience. But soon I realized it was more important for me to spend time with "L" again.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

100 ~ Tips That Helped

By Kay Heitsch

It's interesting coming to work in a memory care center. I didn't know what to expect. I never had to deal with any family member in this situation. My mom died when I was in my early 20s.

I learned that people living in the memory care center may have Alzheimer's, dementia, or maybe they had a brain injury. Even if they had Alzheimer's or dementia, they were all in different stages.

I was there for "L", but since I wheeled her around in the wheelchair, I met most of the residents. I made an effort to show love and attention to each person. I didn't want anyone to feel jealous of "L".

Showing love and attention to everyone worked because I was always greeted with smiles, even though no one remembered my name, not even "L".

I learned different ways to communicate with "L" that worked well for her over time. I didn't ask questions because this seemed to confuse her.

I'd say, "Boy, you feel fresh and clean," after I gave her a shower. Or "That sure tastes good." "That feels good." "You look nice in that outfit." She would smile and shake her head instead of answering.

"L" began to make a clicking sound with her tongue. This went on constantly. I prayed and thought of giving her a stick of gum. Sure enough, she stopped clicking. Her doctor loved this idea!

Reading body language with "L" was a necessity. I learned that when she took her foot off the pedal on the wheelchair, she needed to use the bathroom. When I wheeled her up to the bar in the bathroom, I had to tap it to let her know to hold on and stand up.

I read somewhere that the scent of lavender can help with anxiety and help keep a person calmer. So I bought lavender cleaner and wiped down "L" 's wheelchair and used it to wipe things in her room and bathroom every day. I purchased lavender plug-ins, too. I'm not sure it helped "L," but I think it helped me.

"L" 's son brought up a CD player, so I kept quiet, calm music playing softly when we were in "L "'s room when she "stretched out" if she wasn't watching her movies.

Working in this memory care center was way out of my comfort zone. I needed God to help me adapt and adjust just like "L".

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

99~ The Fall

By Kay Heitsch

I could see that "L" was starting to adjust to the memory care center. I thought I would be moving on.

Well, that quickly changed when "L" fell and broke her other hip.

I would watch "L" through her window when I left at night. She would not sit in her pink chair, where I had left her.

Through the window, I watched "L" get up from her chair and shuffle over to open and slam her door, making sure it was shut tight. Then she would walk around her room checking everything.

Shuffling, she would go back and sit down, but immediately do the same thing again and again.

Evidently, she finally wore herself out one night and fell after I left, breaking her other hip.

I joked with her that since her doctor was so good-looking, she must have wanted to see him again.

Since walking wasn't the best option, "L" 's rehab was limited to being able to stand to get in the wheelchair and use the toilet with my help.

So now, her family thought it would be best if I stayed a little longer to help "L" adjust again.

I wondered how long this subsequent adjustment would take.

98~ Neck Pillow

By Kay Heitsch

It took a while for "L" to adjust to the memory care center.

"L" would rather be alone, and being around people seemed to make her nervous.

When it was time to go to the dining room, I took her to one where she could eat alone. Slowly, she started to eat with everyone else.

There was a family room where the residents could sit. I'd take "L" there for short periods. She would rock back and forth at first, but slowly she would sit without rocking.

"L" had a serious neck issue. Her head rested on her shoulder. Her family had done everything to try and get her to hold her head up right with therapy, etc.

"L" had a neck brace, but she refused to wear it. She would tell me, "This is not a thing of beauty or a joy forever."

I started to pray about "L" 's poor, painful neck. With God's help, I had the thought to put warm packs on her neck when she "stretched out." "Stretched out" is what she referred to as lying down.

Then I would roll up towels and prop her neck up. I told her son what I was doing, and he brought up a neck pillow.

I shared what I was doing with the staff. So when "L" went to bed, they made sure she had the neck pillow.

Praise God, eventually, "L" was holding her head up by herself.

I'm so thankful God helped me turn "L" 's painful neck issue into a triumph.

97 ~ My Faith Crisis

By Kay Heitsch

This post may not be for everyone to read. It's going to be raw, and you may not understand, but I need to write this out. It could help someone other than me.

My Faith Crisis

I don't know precisely what triggered the day I had my faith crisis, but I believe many things led up to it.

First of all, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted after dealing with the trial.

Because of my carpal tunnel, which I was still dealing with, I could not hold a book and read. Turning pages made my fingers burn. So, I didn't read my Bible or any uplifting books.

I attend church and Sunday School. However, I told the minister I was "starving" there. In SS class, our time was spent talking about what snack to bring and who would bring it most of the time. I needed a lot more, since I could not feed myself spiritually.

Plus, working 10 -12 hours daily, 7 days a week, in a memory care center is hard mentally and emotionally.

I was also going through menopause.

Bill had changed jobs a few times, and this is stressful, too.

I truly believed that God had a plan for my life. I felt that when I prayed, He had directed me to where I should go.

Okay, since this was God's big plan, why was I put in these positions, way out of my comfort zone? Even with the last two foster kids. Wow, what a trip they were! I started to think back. I did a better job choosing my own jobs.

Thoughts came flooding in. I had held several jobs before embarking on this challenging journey with God, which I had managed independently.

I remembered the jobs I had worked at. I was a chairside assistant to an orthodontist, a Sterilization Processing Technician in a hospital, and a Data Processing Operator. I work in a Boutique and was in charge of putting together cute clothes, etc. I also volunteered at the kids' schools.

These jobs were nothing like anything I was doing when it was "God's Plan." Now, going through this trial and everything else that was going on,

I flipped out and had a meltdown. I was angry and crying and said, "I'm done! I'll be handling life on my own! Get out! I don't need all this."

Almost immediately, a box was delivered that I did not order. I said, "What the hell is this? I didn't order anything!" I looked, and it was from the Peale Center. I kicked the box and almost broke my toe. I said, "Get this damn box out of my sight!"

Well, I was back to my OLD self! I was cursing like a sailor and irritated at the world. Yeah, I was handling life on my own! Wasn't this fun?

I immediately stopped going to church! I had enjoyed listening to K-Love on the radio. Now I had no interest in that either. I used to enjoy watching "Enjoying Everyday Life" with Joyce Meyer, but I hadn't watched it in a long time because I didn't have the time, and now I couldn't care less.

I had absolutely no interest in anything spiritual. Just like before, I was back to my OLD self. God had stepped back, and He was letting me do life my way.

After the trial, I shared my anger with a few friends. They tried to encourage me, but at first, I wasn't having it.

I don't know how long living life my way lasted. It seemed like a long time. However, I started to miss talking to God and doing life His way.

One Sunday, I decided to go to church. Before, I liked to sit towards the front, so I went to my usual spot. I sat there for a brief period and abruptly got up and left. The service was ongoing, but I wanted to get out of there.

I turned on K-Love as I drove the short distance to work. I started taking small steps in the right direction.

Then, my friends told me Joyce was coming to the Palace. They wanted me to go along with them. I felt, what the heck, I'll go. It was okay. At least I didn't get up and leave.

I know it was these few friends who prayed and encouraged me that I didn't give up and kept pressing through. Twenty years later, these are still my close friends.

Eventually, I got on Facebook. I have always loved quotes. I'd find a quote online and pair it with a relevant Bible verse. I'd see things that were helping me. I started posting them, hoping and praying that others could also relate to them and be encouraged.

Going through this faith crisis, I found it essential to be mindful of what I allow into my mind. I have learned a great deal regarding my thoughts and spiritual nourishment.

It was a long journey back. I didn't know if I would ever live long enough to tell this tragedy-to-triumph story, but I'm thankful I didn't give up.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2